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Trauma is Like Driving with Both Feet Down

For many of us, an analogy helps make the invisible visible. Imagine sitting in a car that won't move, yet you know you’re going to be late to a vital destination. Arriving late feels like it carries dire consequences, affecting you and others in big ways. You panic because nothing feels under your control.

The feelings in this moment are layered—annoyed, angry, scared, trapped—and they are loud. These emotions drive frantic thoughts: Why am I failing again? Why is this happening to me? Why didn’t someone else check the gas?

It is deafening in that car. It's hard to think clearly because your senses are overwhelmed by the noise. As you desperately try to figure out what to do, you trace the source of the noise. You realize you have one foot on the brake, pressed to the floor, and the other foot pushing just as hard on the accelerator.

You are trapped. To move, you have to let up on one—but doing so feels like the car could spin out of control. So, you stay trapped. You feel angry, scared, and powerless. You may even feel shame or blame, thinking you caused this, while your whole body is tense and constricted trying to keep it all going.

This is trauma, metaphorically speaking.

Your nervous system is trying to move forward (accelerator) while simultaneously trying to stay safe (brake). The science now backs this up: this is why the trauma response feels so overwhelming.

Therapy is "Smart" Safety
Therapy is not about judging your driving; it is about learning how to feel "safer" in a smarter, more personalized way, rather than continuing the "harder" way that doesn't fit you.

With time, clients start finding the "choice points" in their lives. They learn to manage their panic, allowing them to finally see options that didn't exist before:

• Reaching down and turning the car off completely.

• Rolling down the window to ask for help.

• Simply waiting until the gas runs out.

It’s remarkable how many choices we actually have, yet our "stuff" acts as a blind spot to them.

Welcome to Choices in Change Therapy.

Beginning therapy is like choosing the option that says, "ask for help." While we are wired for healing, we are also wired for connection. Our physiology is designed so that—as experts—we know it is through safe connection that you can lower your defenses enough to face your fears and vulnerabilities.

The number one predictor of positive outcome in therapy is the relationship between the client and the therapist. We work together to ensure a good fit, partnering to observe what helps and what doesn't. You get to work through your "stuff" with an ally—not a boss or family member—someone who intentionally holds space, and directly, gently treats you as the valuable person you are.

An Analogy for Therapy